


Simulacrum

by AnnaOkegom



Category: Original Work
Genre: ;----;, Animal Death, Blood and Injury, Crying, Gen, Harm to Animals, How Do I Tag, Stabbing, Violence, the sad will kick in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 13:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaOkegom/pseuds/AnnaOkegom
Summary: SIMULACRUM:an unsatisfactory imitation or substitute.The story of how Hellena Kochi lived, loved, hated, and died.





	Simulacrum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AbsoluteSpoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsoluteSpoon/gifts).

> hiya boi. So after a long time, finally I'm publishing this story! It took so long because it was really difficult to write, especially trying to understand the MC's thoughts and convey them to the story. This definitely was the hardest part.   
As you can see by the rating and the tags (i can't tag), you're in for a crazy ride. This story is also long as hell, and I even took out one part so it wouldn't be longer. Jesus Christ I write too much.  
Overall, I like how this turned out and I'm proud of it. Of course there are parts that I think could be better, but I'm still learning, after all :)  
Enjoy reading :3

**Hellena** used to like it when she was compared to her mother. As fanciful and insane as it may sound, there was indeed a time when Kanashi served as a idol to her daughter, who admired her and made sure to openly show it in all ways possible, such as when 5-years old Hellena wore her mother's clothes and makeup just to look at herself in the mirror and smile.

At age 14 Hellena was finally allowed to attend Athelney after so many years of pleading and wishing. She was younger and smaller than most students but still wore her purple uniform proudly. And during classes and activities, Hellena was always among the best of the best; it didn't take much for the girl to be recognized as a prodigy, and soon after her popularity grew even more. Even the people who were jealous of her couldn't help but want to be friends with her. In spite of everything, Hellena didn't give much thought into social interactions or other people, and all her attention was always being directed to her studies.

And there was also a boy, Basil Felor. The only thing he shared with Hellena was that both were passionate about being the best, but still, he had fallen in love with her at first sight. Basil received no special treatment, and Hellena was as apathetic towards him as she was with her other rejected suitors. Differently from the others, though, Basil was stubborn and insistent, and was always pursuing Hellena, whether he was inviting her on dates or trying to impress her with his strength. Basil Felor was a brash, savage, arrogant and hot-tempered individual who could not stand being contradicted without responding with irrational anger, and in a nutshell, was everything Hellena despised in one person.

As time passed, Hellena's personality followed. The previously energetic and happy girl was becoming more competitive and antisocial every day. Compliments were not enough to satisfy her anymore. Nothing could reach her high standards. At first she was mostly confused: why couldn't she feel pleased with her work? Why didn't praising bring a smile to her face? Why wasn't she feeling happy? And the doubt she asked herself the most: what was she feeling towards her mother? She wasn't sure when things had changed, but at some point, their relation went from crystal clear to unreadable. Hellena sometimes wondered if her mother felt the same.

It was just that whenever Hellena stared at Kanashi, her blood started boiling and a lump appeared on her throat; sometimes she was forced to bite her lips and keep swallowing or else she would snap, and she had no idea what would happen if she snapped. It was just that whenever Hellena thought about Kanashi she could only see her mother as being better, smarter, stronger, more beautiful, and suddenly all the praise she had ever received her whole life seemed like it hadn't been directed at her, but at her mother. It was just that whenever anyone thought about the Kochi name they could only think about Kanashi Kochi and all her greatness, and her daughter was just an addition that was nowhere as good as her, and would never be. Hellena wondered what was all that, and why was she now beginning to question things she had never questioned before. Even when she tried her best, everything around her screamed the fact that she would always be living on her mother's shadows. She nothing but an imitation that had failed to reach the original's level. If everyone was comparing her to her mother and judging her for it, she was also allowed to do the same. Hellena would only be recognized as Hellena if she became better than her mother. Envy was everything Hellena could feel.

Jealousy turned into hate, and Hellena could not stand being with her mother any longer. The only thing that could bring her excitement (the closest thing to happiness) was the thought of surpassing Kanashi and seeing and her suffer with the same fate she once imposed to her daughter ruthlessly. Hellena longed for the day she would be free, and at the same time, wondered whether she was postponing it out of fear or because of the thrill the wait made her feel. When she finally decided to risk it all and run away, she made sure to get everything she could. Her own things and some of her mother's things were all stuffed into a suitcase, and before leaving, Hellena left Kanashi a note. Not a note for her to know where she was, but a note where she could lay her thoughts on. Where she could express her victory and satisfaction. 

She had already waited so much. Waiting just a little more wouldn't be a problem.

* * *

**Hellena **stared at the remaining three coins on her palm. It was enough to buy one loaf of bread, maybe two if she was lucky enough.

Money had ran out last month, the same time her mother's jewelry ran out. An independent life was hard, especially for a 19-years old girl like Hellena. Four months had already passed since she ran away from her old life and was reborn to care for herself, and not once had she regretted the decision. Even if she had to sleep on the streets, even if she starved, even if she had no money, at least she was no longer tied to her mother, and that made everything worth it. After so much time, she was able to feel something other than hate and envy. Hellena was happy.

All she had to do was find a way to outshine her mother. But first she needed to find a way to win money; any kind of job would be fine for her, and surely on North Dale, a city full of restaurants and supermarkets, there would be a place for her to work on. And when she was coming back to rented house she would have to leave soon, Hellena stumbled upon a rather fancy-looking restaurant. But its appearance was not what she cared about; it was the poster placed on the glass wall that said everything she needed to see at that moment. "Waiters needed".

"Finally... a job that can give me all the money I need."

She already had everything planned: as soon as she had earned enough money, she would travel to Sincla, the city of money and fame, and work on a local casino until she had made herself a fortune. After that, she could spend the rest of her life doing whatever she wanted, with nobody able to stop her in any way, and--

Hellena's line of thought was interrupted by a presence right next to her. She looked down to notice a scrawny white cat placing its front paws on the glass. Normally Hellena wouldn't have been too bothered and just flinched; after all, she had never cared much about any kind of animal. To her, they were nothing but inferior, feral creatures that lacked intelligence to think, and were not worth her time (much like certain other people). But the mere sight of that cat reminded her of her mother's odious Forest Cat and all the other memories came flooding back. Hellena instinctively clenched her shaking fists as goosebumps spread around her whole body. She must have wheezed or something, because after that the cat looked up at her with its light blue eyes.

"What the hell are you looking at? Get lost, stupid cat!" she shooed, stomping on the ground and making the cat turn around and start walking away. 

She never understood why her mother had gotten a Forest Cat. Or why anyone, for that matter, would get one. They simply did, for whatever reason. 

Hellena looked at the cat, eyes wide, as an idea had just popped up on her mind. The reason why people liked the furry beasts didn't matter: what mattered was that a lot of people _did_ like them, enough to actually go into stores and buy Forest Kittens. So as long as she was able to produce Forest Kittens and sell them after, she would be earning money. And what better way to produce Forest Kittens other than using a female cat? 

Running in front of the cat, Hellena knelt down and started petting the cat's head as gently as she could; it seemed to enjoy it, as it closed its eyes and rubbed its head more against her skin. Her hand traveled from the cat's head to its back, and finally to its lower back, and as it continued to purr, it raised its tail automatically. Hellena had never bothered to do much research on animals, much less at cats specifically, but her desire for knowledge inspired her to study biology. She had never gotten too deep into the studies, but she was almost sure that cat was a female.

"Good girl..." Hellena chuckled, taking out the loaf of bread she had bought from the bag and pulling a piece out. The cat rapidly devoured it all, with Hellena giggling and petting her.

Hellena grabbed an open box next to the restaurant and placed it in front of her, before picking up the cat and placing her inside. Everything she had to do now was find a forest.

* * *

**Hellena **waited two months after that. She was glad that a cat's pregnancy didn't last that long. 

As soon as the kittens were born, Hellena carefully grabbed all of them, wrapped them up on a thick and warm towel, leaving only their heads out, and rushed to her room, leaving the bleeding mother cat on the floor. The kittens were the priority: if they died, she would have nothing to sell. The mother cat was probably going to die either way, so Hellena couldn't care less. And she also doubted anyone would want to buy newborns, so she would have to keep them alive for at least a few weeks before actually selling them; and that meant she needed to obtain food for them somehow.

Ignoring the writhing kittens' high-pitched meows, Hellena shut both the window and the door to keep cold air from coming inside. Only then she approached the table they were put at: there were four of them. With closed eyes and folded ears, they were all very small, and Hellena assumed the runt was the only regular cat on the litter. Leaving them over the table was probably dangerous, though, and she placed the wrapped kittens on an open drawer.

The next day, Hellena woke up at the sound of scratching on the door. Just as soon as she opened it, the white mother cat bolted inside the room and jumped on the top of the drawer to look down at her kittens, leaving droplets of blood on the floor.

"What the hell?... How are you alive?" The woman approached the cat, who was now licking each kitten. She looked exhausted, panting quickly. "...Whatever."

It was probably better like that. Hellena could check her for major injuries, and if she really ended up making it, there would be no need to worry about looking after the kittens. She could even reuse that same cat to produce a new litter to be sold later; though it would probably take a while for the mother cat to recover from such strain and be able to deliver healthy and living kittens. 

"I can just use other strays during this time. Everything will be fine." 

And for the next two months, the kittens grew and the mother did a rather great recovery. All Hellena wanted to do was get rid of the four little monsters that constantly made a mess on her house and practically screamed their throats out whenever they were locked in a room, so she felt nothing but relief as she threw all of them in a box and closed it shut. There was a pet store not too far away from the apartment she was living at, and since Forest Cats were apparently the newest trend going on around, so she didn't doubt they would gladly accept the kittens. With the box in hand, Hellena came inside the store, a bell ringing to signal her entrance.

"Good morning," she said with a cold smile and placed the box over the counter. The man barely had a chance to open his mouth before Hellena pulled the cover out, revealing the four moving kittens. "I'd like to sell you those."

"Those are..."

"Three Forest Kittens and a regular kitten."

The employee stared at the animals for a while before turning his nervous gaze back to Hellena, who stood there with her usual calm and intimidating presence.

"How... how did you get these kittens?" he asked. Hellena's smile grew. She had been expecting that question since the start.

"Does it matter? This is not about how I obtained them. This is about you choosing whether you want to profit or not." she replied, sly as always. "Nobody needs to know. Nobody has any proof."

"B-breeding cats with Forest Cats is i-illegal... they can die. If someone discovers this, b-both of us are going to j-jail..."

"Alright." Hellena casually took hold of the box and placed its lid on it again. "It doesn't matter if you refuse, not even a little bit. I know there are people out there who would gladly accept those kittens, and they are the smart ones. So everything you're doing is lose money, and I won't waste my time here anymore."

Turning around, Hellena began to walk away, towards the door without giving out any signs of disappointment. Just as she had expected, it took one second for the voice to call her back:

"W-wait!"

"Hm?" Hellena turned her head towards him, still smiling.

"I... I'll take them. I'll take the kittens... all of them."

"Good choice."

* * *

**Hellena **could never imagine how much money could one make just by selling Forest Kittens in the past. Rumors of her new job had spread around the small city of North Dale (with nobody being able to prove it to authorities) and new clients seemed to sprout from the ground at that point. There were people of all kinds: a chatty lady who Hellena assumed already had multiple cats due to the multi-colored fur over her clothes, a Beast Hunter who claimed he wanted to study animals and a Nalimese man who remarked that the kittens would be used on his country's Forest Cat army were the ones that stood out the most for her.

She also found out that the stray she had found that day near the restaurant was a living goldmine. Death was almost certain when it came to female cats impregnated by Forest Cats, but that cat, either due to her genes or simply because of luck, kept surviving each pregnancy, with only some injuries. It didn't take much for Hellena to realize that that cat was precious and she could not afford to lose her, so she always made sure the cat was being well fed and resting enough. During the periods between her cat's pregnancies, Hellena used other stray cats she found on the streets, though in many cases they ended up succumbing to their injuries or bleeding to death. Hellena did not care. The kittens were the ones that gave her her money.

Sometimes people got suspicious. After all, rumors spread quickly, and the fact that the numbers of dead female cats with scratches on their backs caused by Forest Cats kept increasing were enough to make most people doubt her. Hellena didn't mind that either, and whenever she felt that the others were beginning to turn against her, she simply moved away to another city. The money she had was more than enough, as she had started working on part-time jobs during the night.

As soon as she had enough money, Hellena took the first plane to Sincla and dragged the cat with her. There she was able to find a luxurious apartment and high-paying job in a popular casino for herself; the comfort she had always wanted and had always thought she deserved was seemingly able to be embraced. 

***

The contractions kept getting worse with no avail, and it was too early. Way too early to be happening. 

At first Hellena thought it was some kind of sickness, maybe the consequences of mating with so many Forest Cats and giving birth to so many Forest Kittens had finally got to that cat, but then it didn't stop. The cat kept meowing and purring like crazy for no reason, something she never did, and the noise was so loud that Hellena had to hold herself not to throw the first thing she saw on the cat with full force; but then she noticed a liquid around the cat. It was not urine, thankfully, but a dark yellowish liquid with a growing red tint to it. 

Hellena ran over to the cat. She was lying down on the floor, panting, eyes barely open. Letting out a swear lowly, she ran to the bedroom and snatched a few towels left over a table. There was no way that cat was giving birth, barely one month had passed since the last time she met a Forest Cat! At that point Hellena was just expecting the worst: the damn feline was dying, probably because of everything she had done until now. If she died, it would be much harder to get Forest Kittens to sell, but Hellena didn't doubt that was what was actually happening. Most cats didn't make it during mating, and the ones who did mostly died during delivery, having their insides literally mauled and ruined by the claws of the Forest Kittens on the womb.

As soon as the woman got back into the living room, her eyes darted to the place where the cat was before. There was nothing there, nothing but a trail of blood droplets.

"Damn it," Hellena cursed, starting to follow the trail as fast as she could. There was no kind of medicine at home; what kind of treatment should she even give to a cat that was bleeding inside? She was not a veterinary, much less a surgeon.

She found the cat on the small storage room of the apartment, trying to find space between some boxes. She stumbled as she walked all stretched, as if the pain forced her to assume the most awkward positions to avoid feeling it. Pain was like that, pain liked to humiliate its victims and Hellena knew that better than anyone else. She threw the towels on the ground, kicking the boxes away to make space for the cat, and carefully lead her to the place. Once the cat was lying down, she started licking her bleeding genitalia frantically, almost obsessively. Hellena just watched, kneeling, unsure of what to do.

They spent about an hour and a half there, just waiting, before the first one came out. It didn't look like anything Hellena had ever seen before: it was a red, clawed pulp that didn't move or make any sound. It didn't look like a living being. It was such a mess that Hellena couldn't make out its head, eyes, mouth or nose, or any other part of its body.

"O-oh my God..." she whispered to herself, cringing as she shakingly tried to clean the kitten with a small towel. In the end, the towel and the ground became stained red, and nothing else happened. "It's alright... it's alright. There are still more kittens... it's common for this to happen..."

Three more kittens came, in a not too different state. All four of them were disfigured, bleeding, amalgamated masses. They had never lived, and they certainly wouldn't live anymore now. Hellena couldn't bear to look at the mother. She didn't want to look at the stillborn babies either, but at the same time, she couldn't stop staring at them. She felt sick, like she was about to vomit.

That night, Hellena barely slept, and as soon as she did, she had a disturbing nightmare where there were four dead, mutilated kitten bodies stuck to her hands. Then to make it even worse, she suddenly was on a church, with Basil Felor next to her wearing a suit and literally trying to force a ring on her finger, but because of the kittens, he couldn't, so he started swearing and insulting at her. Her mother Kanashi also appeared by her side, screaming at how much of a disappointment she was, and how much she regretted giving birth to her; everyone else started doing the same, calling her worthless, inferior, cheap, pathetic, a _murderer_. Hellena woke up startled and panting, her face wet with sweat and tears.

There was no way she was going to sleep after that. She didn't want to, either. Jumping our of bed and feeling the cold floor under her naked feet, Hellena unlocked and pushed the door, dropping the key as the creaking sound of the door invaded and hurt her ears, despite the five-star apartment she was in. She walked out and took hold of the handle of the candle supporter on the table, with the flame trembling as much as her hands were. The storage room was still just the way she had left it, and the mother cat was lying down over a box that had been disassembled for more space. If Hellena hadn't seen the way her body was shaking, lightly, she would have assumed she was dead. The four kittens were right in front of her and being licked, with a motherly gentleness that Hellena couldn't understand.

"Don't... don't you know your kittens are dead?" she whispered, getting closer and kneeling down in front of them. "They're dead. They aren't coming back... they're not alive. When something's dead, it isn't a person or an animal anymore... it's an object. Just a body. There's nothing left to love anymore."

The mother cat glanced at her before going back to licking the kittens.

"Why are you doing this? I don't get it. If you keep spending time with them, you'll only suffer more. I don't get it..." Hellena sighed. "I'm going to have to throw them out."

She set the candle on the ground, almost knocking it down. Something in her body was trying to stop her from taking the kittens, for a large number of reasons, but she still did it. She placed all the carcasses on a black plastic bag, tied it up and took the elevator to the ground floor. It was freezing cold outside, specially since all Hellena was wearing was a sleeveless white nightgown with no shoes on, so she threw the bag on the trash can and went back inside as fast as she could.

The cat was still on the same spot as before when Hellena came back. It was the most depressing sight she had ever had the misfortune of laying her eyes at. And the way the cat looked at her, as if saying that everything was alright, she forgave her, she knew she had tried her best, almost made Hellena want to die. Her chest was heavy, making her feel suffocated by her own feelings of guilt, regret and shame. Her mind told her that it was all her fault, and she would never be able to take it back. She was guilty. She was worthless, inferior, cheap, pathetic. She was a murderer.

"Four innocent kitten lives... ruined... because of me..."

Hellena knelt down next to the cat and extended her hand to pet her on the head. The cat accepted the gesture, closing her eyes and starting to purr. Hellena stopped.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Aren't you mad at me? I hurt you. I forced you to give birth knowing you could die. I sold all your children away. And now... your babies are dead because of me." She sat down, and the cat walked over to her and lied down on her lap. "Don't you hate me? Why don't you hate me?"

Hellena kept stroking the cat's body, trying to be as gentle as she could. Both of them stayed in silence for some minutes.

"I'm sorry. I'm callous. You didn't deserve all of this. You never did anything... differently from me. I'm not asking you to forgive me... I can't forgive myself either. But just know that... if I could, I'd do everything differently. I'm sorry, kitty. I can't do anything. I can't help it." She looked around herself. All those expensive items, all that luxury, that enjoyable life she was having. There was no longer any point. "I understand it now... I don't need any of that. I have you! You're the best thing that could have happened to me... you're so much better than me. You know how to love and forgive, while everything I've been doing in my life these past years is hate and destroy. You're kind. I can't change the past, but... I can build a good future for both of us. I'll do things right this time... I promise. What do you think?"

Right after she finished asking the question, the cat lifted her head to stare at her on the eyes, slowly blinking, and made a soft cooing side, while pushing in and out against her legs with her paws. Instinctively Hellena laughed, and tears started sprouting on her eyes and rolling down her face. The cat kept rubbing her body against Hellena's legs and chest, and Hellena took hold of her and lifted her, allowing their foreheads to touch.

"Thank you... I love you." she said, smiling. "We'll be starting a whole new life, in all aspects... tomorrow we're packing up. We're going to get the first train to another city... a calm and peaceful place where we can grow and stay together. Everything will be alright... nobody needs to suffer anymore. I swear I'll make you happy. But we'll think about all this tomorrow... c'mon, it's bed time now."

Hellena got up, cleaned her tears, and with better vision, stared at the boxes around.

"You've been sleeping on these boxes, haven't you? I... sorry about that. I guess I never really cared enough... as long as you were alive and fertile, I didn't care in what conditions you were in." She smiled at the cat, looking at her, and then picked her up. "But things are different now. You can sleep with me in my room... the bed is really warm and soft. I'm sure you'll love it."

For the first time in all those years, ever since her jealousy had started growing, Hellena felt happiness. With so much hate inside her, she had forgotten what genuine happiness felt like. The feeling of being kind, helping someone else without waiting for anything in return; never once had she felt it so strongly before. As long as she had that cat, she could keep feeling that. She could keep being kind. 

As long as she had that cat, she could be redeemed.

* * *

**Hellena **bought two tickets for South Dale the next morning.

While packing up everything she and her cat would need, she researched about the city. Like its associate and bordering city North Dale, South Dale had cold weather; but differently from North Dale, there were often snowfalls on South Dale, creating beautiful scenery. Hellena thought it was a calm and good place, at least for a start. All that was left then was to wait until later that day, where they would be heading to the new city.

It was already evening when they got into the train. Hellena was one of the first to board, and chose one of the seats in the back, the ones that often had the less people on them. The inside of the train was organized on vertical rows of two seats, with a white table in front of them and a window with binds on the side. Most of Hellena's possessions were superfluous and overly expensive items she had bought on a whim and out of spite for the world, so there wasn't a lot of luggage, differently from her previous trips. When arriving at her desired place, she set her suitcase on the aisle chair and sat down on the window one, her feline companion lying on her lap.

As the train started to move, Hellena pulled a small notebook and a pen out of her suitcase. For all those hours, that diary would be her second (the cat was not the first) most trustful confidant. And so, Hellena began to relate everything, sometimes stopping to think and erasing what she had just wrote to word it better. Even when the details made her stomach turn and when her hands began shaking so much her calligraphy was barely comprehensible, she forced herself to continue. It was her obligation, her punishment for what she did. Everything was written faithfully, not a single detail omitted, from the day Hellena ran away from home to the day she no longer had money or jewelry to sell, and from the day she took in the stray cat currently on her lap for selfish reasons to the death of the kittens and the way that cat had changed her for the better. 

If Hellena slept during the trip, she was not sure, but the cat stayed asleep during the whole time. Sometimes Hellena went to check if she was breathing, only to see her ears twitching and her paws making slight movements. The cat only woke up at around 3 PM, while the crew was serving a meal to all the passengers, probably because of the noise and the smell of fresh food. Hellena barely ate her sandwich, but she poured some food on a bowl and set it on the table, to watch her cat eating it for the next ten minutes. Soon later she was sound asleep again. 

They arrived at the early morning, at 4:30 AM. Everyone on the front seats started leaving first, making the few people on the back have to wait. This was one of the main reasons people did not like to sit on the back, but Hellena didn't mind waiting. It gave her time to organize everything.

"Alright... out we go." she said, after the whole train was empty with the exception of her and her cat. Hellena put her suitcase on the ground and got up, then left holding her cat with one hand and the suitcase's handle on the other.

They got out of the train, and as expected, it was freezing outside, even on a closed building. From the windows Hellena could see that it wasn't snowing, at least yet, but the ground was covered in snow. She had already been prepared and brought warm clothing, including the sweater she was currently wearing.

"I rented us a house. It's right at the start of a forest, with some trees outside and a garden. It's not inside the city, but it's still very close... I think you'll like it. I just need to call a taxi, and we'll be there soon."

The taxi didn't take long, and it was warm and fuzzy inside. Hellena avoided talking to the driver, other than one or two remarks about the weather and the city, and as soon as they realized, they had arrived. The rented house Hellena had found was on the top of a small mountain, and the car couldn't go up there, so he stopped on a spot at the road, and after Hellena and the cat got out, he wished them good luck and drove back towards the city. There was a path made of stone steps, and it was so covered by the snow that Hellena only noticed it when the cat jumped from her arms to land perfectly at one of the rocks.

"It must lead to the top... and our house must be up there, too. Let's get going... staying out there in the cold can't be good for us, especially you."

Holding her suitcase by the handle, Hellena started going up the stairs, the cat following her right by her side. Her white color matched the snow and she was often camouflaged to the point where Hellena had to stop to make sure she knew her location.

They had already been walking for over five minutes, and Hellena started wondering if she had made the wrong choice by choosing a house this far away from civilization, when she suddenly stopped on her tracks.

She was sure she had just felt a strong presence appear and disappear, inside her En. 

"Stay put, kitty. Don't move."

It could be simply a Hunter or something like that, but still, a Nen user in a place like that could only have doubtful intentions. In the three years Hellena had spent after running away, the presence of Nen users was scarce, and a great number of them were simply geniuses that weren't even aware of the power they held. Hellena kept her guard up, looking everywhere and waiting for someone to show up while she remained on a state of Zetsu.

"Always paranoid and overly preoccupied by everything around her... you haven't changed, Hellena." she heard a voice say, pronouncing her name as if it were a blessing on the speaker's tongue.

"Who is there? Come out."

From behind a tree, came out a tall man wearing a long-sleeved navy blue shirt with golden buttons and white cuffs, alongside white pants and big black boots. His skin was fair, and his hair was dark, long and curly. He also had a mustache. Hellena was sure she had never seen that man before in her life, and was taken aback with shock and confusion.

"Who in the world are you?" she blurted out, preparing herself with a defensive stance in case he tried to attack.

The man sighed in melancholy, and lowered his head as if a part of him expected that reaction. Hellena didn't dare blink.

"It makes me sad to see you don't remember me. But it's not your fault... it's been ages, after all. The years passed, but it was like I didn't age with them... not even time could erase all my feelings for you."

Just as he finished his sentence, a shiver ran through Hellena's whole body, and out of nowhere she could feel every inch of her skin tight with goosebumps. As she finally realized what was going on, she could only stare at him, while feeling her nails hurt her hands on her clenched fists. He smiled.

"Do you remember now?"

"B... Basil? Is it really you? I just... what are you doing here?" Hellena asked. Her head ached.

Basil's smile became larger as he took some steps forwards. Hellena heard her cat hiss right by her side, awaking her from the trance of shock she was into. Basil stopped walking, and stared at the cat intrigued.

"I thought you hated cats." he said. He remembered.

"I used to," Hellena replied, feeling as her cat rubbed her body against her legs, suspicious of the strange man facing them.

They stood in silence for some seconds, and would probably have stayed like that for much longer, had Basil not decided to announce:

"I'll get straight to the point, Hellena," Basil sighed, sounding either annoyed or tired, rubbing his eyes. "Your mother is sick. Really sick. With one of those diseases where all you can do is wait until your time comes."

"My mother is... sick? What happened to her?"

"Her health began to deteriorate as soon as you left. She quit working and started to drink, accepting only visits from her friends. It was only a matter of time until something like this happened, and it finally has now." he continued explaining. "At first, she kept saying she was just tired. But then she started coughing a lot, with blood, too. She's got a fever now and often hallucinates... it's mostly just nonsense being babbled, but occasionally, she calls your name."

"What exactly does she have?"

"I'm sure you've heard of it one way or another, it's quite common nowadays... Red Plague. It's already been three weeks. If she doesn't get better soon, she'll die... I don't think anyone has ever survived more than a month."

"I... I'm really sorry."

Basil snorted.

"There's no need to lie when you're with me. I know this is what you wanted, Hellena... I know the scathing hate you feel towards your mother."

This time, Hellena was the one who took a step forwards.

"Just now, Basil, you said I haven't changed. But that is not true. I... I understand everything now. The consequences of what I did... of what I felt. This is not what I want for me anymore... I want something different. Everything I want is peace." she said, and paused. "I no longer hate my mother. I regret feeling the way I felt in silence like how I did... but I can't change what already happened. I truly feel sorry... but if you came here to ask me to come back, I can't accept it."

"Why? This is something the 'old Hellena' would do. If you're so sorry, why don't you come with me?" Basil extended his gloved hand towards her.

"Even though I'm not angry at my mother anymore... I don't think we can ever be together anymore. Not after what I did. However... I want you to tell her what I'm telling you. This will comfort her. If her will is strong enough, it will cure her. If it doesn't cure her, it will at least put her mind at peace before she leaves this world."

"You've really changed."

"I matured."

Another moment of silence. Basil sighed, then pulled out a knife from his pocket, almost making Hellena fall down the step she was standing on.

"I'm sorry, Hellena. I cannot afford to simply let you off like this... this isn't just for your mother. This is for me, too. I came here determined to bring you back, and finally, after so much time... make you _mine_."

"Basil... put that knife down, please. I don't want any tro--"

Both of them were interrupted by the cat's sudden pounce attack towards Basil; she jumped on him, digging her sharp claws onto his skin through the fabric of his clothes. Hellena let out a gasp, as the man in front of her swore and punched the cat with no regards or concern.

"No, no! Stop it, Basil, don't hurt her! Stop, you're going to--"

Hellena found herself unable to continue speaking, because in the next second, Basil seized her cat's neck with one hand and slammed her body against the stone step in front of him, head first. Sprays of blood flew through the air, everywhere, as a horrible cracking sound echoed around the area, and Hellena's clothes and skin were full of tiny red drops. Neither her brain nor her limbs were processing what had just happened, while she could only stand, trembling and letting out small gasps of shock. From the look in his face Hellena could tell he was shocked too, though there was not a single hint of regret or guilt to be found.

With newfound strength, Hellena ran towards the cat and kneeled next to her, cradling and moving her body, trying to get any reaction out of her. Anything would be enough.

"Oh my God... oh my God, no, no... please..." There was a large bleeding injury right on her forehead, blood still dripping down her white fur and staining the equally white snow. The cat was cold and unresponsive. She was dead. "She's... her head is bleeding a lot... she's... she's not breathing..."

"Hellena, I..." Basil started, and spend some time not saying anything, still trying to measure his words. The small chance he had to bring Hellena back had just been reduced to zero. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I truly didn't. I was just trying to keep myself safe... it was self-defense. You understand that, right? But don't worry... when we get back home, we can get you another cat..."

Hellena lifted her head up to stare at him. Despite the tears rolling down her cheeks, she did not look sad in the slightest. It was like there was fire burning behind her trembling pupils. Her whole body started shaking too, and as she slowly got up from the floor, she was grinding her teeth so much they seemed to be on the verge of breaking. Her fists were clenched and prepared to attack every and any thing on her way.

"You monster..." she whispered, watching as Basil rubbed his hand on his scratched cheek. "YOU MURDERED HER!"

"Look, you calm the hell down and watch your tone!" He yelled back, gesticulating with the hand that was holding the knife. "It was an accident, you saw it! I was willing to take you back peacefully, but... it just jumped at me."

"BECAUSE YOU PULLED OUT A KNIFE! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HER! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS, NOT THIS WAY! YOU SMASHED HER HEAD IN! SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"It's just a stupid cat! It's not a big deal! What matters the most to you, a tiny useless animal or me and your mother?"

"'IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL'? IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU HIT HER SO HARD YOU SPLIT HER HEAD OPEN! YOU CRACKED HER SKULL, BASIL! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED TO _YOU_?"

"Listen, Hellena... you aren't making any sense. It's clear by the way you're acting... you're not sane. You're out of control. I have no idea what exactly happened during those years, while you were out there... but it's alright now. Just come with me, and I'll help you..."

"HELP ME? YOU'VE JUST MURDERED THE ONE I LOVE AND CARE FOR THE MOST, AND YOU SAY YOU WANT TO HELP ME?! GO TO HELL, BASIL! GO TO HELL AND BURN THERE FOREVER!"

"HELLENA, STOP MAKING THIS MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SHOULD BE AND COME WITH ME ALREADY!"

Hellena clenched her fists even tighter, which was almost impossible to do, and bit her own lip so hard it drew blood.

"I'd rather _die_ than come back with you."

After that, everything was way too fast. Without thinking or caring, Hellena ran towards him at full speed, and Basil held her back. Hellena struggled while Basil tried to push her, and none of them understood any of what was happening; groaning, the woman tried to go for the knife, and the man pulled it back, but she kept pulling it until it somehow ended up on the space between their two bodies. 

Just seconds later, the knife hit and dug into flesh, and blood gushed out of the wound, staining clothes and hands and falling on the snow on gradual drops. Both of them were grasping the handle of the knife. Hellena stumbled back in shock, letting go of the weapon and staring at the contrast between the blood and the snow. Basil dropped the weapon, his shaking hands not allowing him to keep hold of it. His clothes, which already were covered in blood since he killed the cat, were now fully red. Hellena brought her pale hands to her chest, and then looked down at them. They were now crimson rather than white, soaked in blood.

Her own blood.

Hellena's last sight was that of her imbrued hands before her vision became blurry and dark. Her feeble body started to fall backwards, drops of blood flying out of her body as it did. Hellena then hit the floor at once, graceful even in death. Basil also fell on his knees, defeated. He forced his body to approach her despite every part of his mind telling him otherwise, and once, at least just once, allowed himself to touch her face. 

Just once in his whole life.

* * *

**Hellena** was buried on Athelney, on the cemetery near the school, with her cat next to her. 

When her body and luggage were examined later on, her diary was found. To everyone's surprise, Kanashi got better the following week after Hellena's death. The physical pain had nullified the mental strain she had to undergo after her daughter's escape, and her physical recovery also helped her deal with her daughter's death. Kanashi was the first one to read Hellena's diary, including every word and feeling that had been put down there. Basil's testimony about what had happened completed the contents of the diary, and soon, Hellena's story was all registered and her diary was published as a book around the whole world.

Basil was acknowledged as innocent, as not even he was sure what had happened there, and who had really killed Hellena. Even if it was him, it would be recognized as self-defense anyway. The verdict had no positive effect on him whatsoever, and Basil started to drown himself on alcohol to try relieving the pain. It didn't work. Two weeks later, he killed himself out of guilt and missing Hellena.

In the end, in one way or another, Hellena became known worldwide. People's opinions on her differed greatly, but she was no longer alive, so nobody truly took it seriously, and she couldn't care anymore.

Because Hellena rested in peace forever, her cat next to her as always.

**Author's Note:**

> So, did I go way too far with all the blood and death?  
Excuse me. I'm going to do Hellena's wiki page now.


End file.
